This morning, I stumbled upon a great realization! What I had thought would be a mega wrestling match had been, in fact, a surprisingly simple change.
3 weeks ago, a friend's husband asked me how my writing was going. He doesn't know what I'm working on, just that I enjoy it and hope to become published someday-over-the-rainbow kind of thing. I was happy that he asked, then proceeded to give him my list of perfectly reasonable excuses as to why I haven't been writing lately - I've been really tired with the kids, don't have a lot of spare time, blah, blah, blah. I heard myself tell him these ridiculous things, and luckily snapped myself out of a rut.
I didn't have time because I didn't make time to write. I didn't plant myself in front of my computer everyday. Instead, I was waiting for the elusive muse to drop in and help me compose my masterpiece - a story which has already been fulfilled and is just aching to be told.
Thank you, Jeremy, for inadvertently snapping me out of my self-induced wretchedness.
The very next morning, I got up at 5 am to sit at my computer and write. And did so for 7 days straight. In those 7 days, I cranked out 28 pages of my first draft. It was a feat I'd never yet been able to accomplish. I usually delete my works-in-progress after the first couple page, devestated by their lack of wit, charm, and sense.
Here I am. I took the last 4 mornings off (the husband had a 4 day weekend, and it's significantly harder to leave our warm, comfortable bed when he's home). My goal is to attack my WIP with renewed vigor, and a fresh sense of purpose. I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I have a few ideas for novels that have been bouncing around in my head for a while, and I may set my current project aside for the month of November to bring one of them to life. Or, I may simply continue on with my current writing love and frantically type along with the comforting knowledge that there are others doing the same thing as me.