Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Shoulda, Could, Woulda

I should have blogged yesterday. I wanted to, even. But I pushed it off until this morning, and now I'm paying the consquences.

Today has not started out very well. And it's only 9 am.

I have since recovered from my SAT panic attack, celebrated Christmas Eve with my hubby by replacing the master cylinder in our truck, and had a laid back Christmas with Mustache Man and Kidlets. To be completely honest, I am happy to see Christmas pass this year. It's always the highlight of my year, I have a desperate love for the holiday. But with Christmas gone, the next "big" event our family has planned is our move back home. And I've been waiting, dreaming, and craving this move for nearly 4 years now.

I'm going to salvage the rest of my day by throwing myself into continuing my decluttering/cleaning mission, and packing a few boxes. We only have a few more weeks to have the house packed up, and with my two munchkins ad unreliable motivation, I'm going to need every spare minute.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Panic Attack!

I think I'm still breathing. Maybe I'm hyperventillating.

I took a glance at collegeboard.org. To glance at what I need to do to take the SAT's. And now I feel my mind closing in on itself and my body choosing flight over fight.

I've never taken the SAT's. Or the PSAT. I've never done any kind of big test for college. This may surprise some people, but keep in mind, I got married when I was 16 years old. I finished high school, but my priorities shifted from going to college to moving out of my in-laws home. To paying the bills. To growing a family, and now raising that family.

I've done some amazing things with my life so far. My marriage alone is a huge testament to that. I've watched my husband walk away from our family in the name of duty and country countless times. I survived 13 months of praying he was safe and praying that he would come home. I gave birth to our first child without him. There are very few things in life that intimidate me anymore... and one of those things happens to be continuing my education. I wanted to, I want to say that I took college courses and have a degree. I want to show my kids that life doesn't stop with marriage or becoming a parent.

But I'm not that smartest kid on the block. I know NOTHING about any of this stuff. To make matters worse, I peeked in at a sample question. It was for math. I took remedial math classes the last 3 years I was in public high school. That was when my panic attack hit.

*Takes a deep breath* Ok. Time to use GOOGLE, and see if there's an "SAT'S FOR DUMMIES" at my nearest Barnes & Noble.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The End of a Hiatus?

It's been a while. I've thought about this lonely blog a lot, thought about writing, thought about a lot of things. However, if I had written anything, it would have been out of bitterness and frustration, and I didn't want to do that. So I waited.

Today is December 16th. It's a little after 5 am, and dark outside. Because it's Thursday, Mustache Man is working late - read: making sure other grown men who live in the barracks have cleaned their rooms.

We went to Saint George, UT for Thanksgiving. It rocked my socks! It was great to see my family, and nice to get out of California for a little bit.

We took TAP classes (transition assistance program), and also went to the "class" for TMO/PPM (we're doing a personally procured move).

Our 6th wedding anniversary was on the 13th. Wow. 6 years. More on that later.

That's pretty much all that has happened in our little life here on Camp Pendleton.

Mustache Man has submitted for his terminal leave, and we get to make our exit on February 6th! That's about a month and a half from now. We're excited, anxious, and frustrated with all the time we seem to have in between now and the move. We're continually job searching, and while Mustache Man is on waiting lists for various departments, that's just it... waiting lists, and no solid job offers. YET. Today's an optimistic kind of day.

Happy Thursday!