Thursday, October 28, 2010

Trouble in Paradise

Or something like that.

Mustache Man and I haven't been rubbing each other the right way for the last few days. Ayslyn is teething. Zach is needy. Both kids are trying to get used to having Daddy home with us again (he got back from nearly 3 weeks in the field 13 days ago). The awesome bond between he and the kids? Gone. His SuperDaddy skills? Up in smoke. Now, all we're left with is frustration and dissapointment, and trying to get back to the rythym we had going.

I have been angry. I need to feel like I can lean on my husband. I need a partner, not a helper. I need more than someone who goes to work and brings home the bacon.

The stress is overwhelming I feel like I'm always having to referee for the kids and Husband. I feel like I need to keep the peace between them... and keep the house running, the meals made, and laundry done. I almost flipped out this morning because Husband left a cereal bowl with milk in the sink while I took Zach to his speech class. Say what? That's a tiny thing to be irritated over, comepletely irrational of me. But I was anyways. He was done with it, would it have been that hard to rinse the bowl and put it in the empty dishwasher? Huh?

I'm going to lose it. I know I am. We've tried talking, but it doesn't get anywhere. I want more than he feels he can give - in his point of view, he's giving 110% effort and I just keep asking for more.

Today sucks. I feel guilty, but I'm almost happy that he has duty tonight so I can relax - so I don't have to be the middleman between him and the kids. I'm relieved because it means that after I put the kids down for bed, I can go to bed too... instead of waiting until 9:30 or 10 pm. It means peace, and sleep, and a break.

I could really use a break.


  1. I'm sorry you guys are having these difficulties. It is nice to know that my marriage isn't the only one having these kinds of struggles. Zach has the same problem because his work is so stressful right now. I told him if he comes home again unable to leave work and work and be 100% there for me then I will leave the house until he is. :( it's rough, I feel for you.

  2. I have been feeling a lot of the same way. It is hard to balance being parents and husband and wife. I would highly recommend a book called, The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. Wayne and I read this book when we were first married and it helped A LOT! I am not super into self help books but this one I swear by! I think we need to read it again and freshen up on it as well! Good luck! I am right there with you!

  3. Thanks Kenzi. We love that book! Actually, our Connect Group is doing a study on it right now! I LOVE self help books. Seriously. I went through the entire relationship/marriage section at the library when I first got married! It is really hard to balance "wife" with "mom". I've never been good at juggling, but I think I'm getting better.