Or something like that.
Mustache Man and I haven't been rubbing each other the right way for the last few days. Ayslyn is teething. Zach is needy. Both kids are trying to get used to having Daddy home with us again (he got back from nearly 3 weeks in the field 13 days ago). The awesome bond between he and the kids? Gone. His SuperDaddy skills? Up in smoke. Now, all we're left with is frustration and dissapointment, and trying to get back to the rythym we had going.
I have been angry. I need to feel like I can lean on my husband. I need a partner, not a helper. I need more than someone who goes to work and brings home the bacon.
The stress is overwhelming I feel like I'm always having to referee for the kids and Husband. I feel like I need to keep the peace between them... and keep the house running, the meals made, and laundry done. I almost flipped out this morning because Husband left a cereal bowl with milk in the sink while I took Zach to his speech class. Say what? That's a tiny thing to be irritated over, comepletely irrational of me. But I was anyways. He was done with it, would it have been that hard to rinse the bowl and put it in the empty dishwasher? Huh?
I'm going to lose it. I know I am. We've tried talking, but it doesn't get anywhere. I want more than he feels he can give - in his point of view, he's giving 110% effort and I just keep asking for more.
Today sucks. I feel guilty, but I'm almost happy that he has duty tonight so I can relax - so I don't have to be the middleman between him and the kids. I'm relieved because it means that after I put the kids down for bed, I can go to bed too... instead of waiting until 9:30 or 10 pm. It means peace, and sleep, and a break.
I could really use a break.