Monday, March 29, 2010

Presenting Ayslyn Mae

Ayslyn Mae was born Thursday, March 25th. I will post labor & delivery details soon.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I can't get no satisfaction

Today has not been the promising day I had hoped for. The Hubby is gone for field training. We dropped him off at the motor pool on Saturday morning, and expect to be picking him up Friday night. 6 days is not so terrible in comparison to the other field op's he's been gone on, and yet I am not content. Instead, I feel selfish, lazy, and bitter.

Tomorrow, I am 36 wks, and have an appointment with my Doc. I hope that I can have her check me for dialating and effacement, just in case. While I was pregnant with Zachary, I started dialating days before I had him. If this little one decides to arrive early, I'd like to be able to give her Dad a head's up so he can come home. My imagination has quite run away with nightmarish visions of a slew of contractions renderring me immobile, with my toddler, and no one around to help. How nice it would be to be back home having this baby at the hospital I am familiar with. Instead, I will be delivering at the Naval Hospital, something that makes me also quite nervous.

Zachary is down the hall in his room for what is supposed to be naptime. He's generally really great about it and rarely fusses when we put him in bed. Today is not one of those regular naptimes. He has discovered the tabs on his diapers, and occasionally gets bored and removes said diapers. The result today was wet sheets. He is fairly particular about moisture, he loves nothing more than wiping up water off the floor or condensation off the coffee table. He got very upset with his sheets, and cried for me to come change them and him. Now he's very upset with the fact that I've not only replaced his diaper and put him in shorts to deter his diaper removal, but I also had the nerve to put him back in his bed and leave him there!

I feel very much in a slump. a rut. I need to bust out of this tiny little creativity crushing and productivity halting box that I've managed to fall into. But how? The "negative" shoulder character is whispering to me that it's ok. After all, I am very pregnant. A little laziness is acceptable. I'll pick all this up again and catch up after I have the baby. But my "positive" shoulder character is who I am trying to side with. Pregnancy is no excuse! I am unhappy with my current situation, so I should change it. Nobody else is going to swoop in and do it for me, I need to be the change I want to see.

And yet, I remain in this wretched box. What am I waiting for?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


This last week made me feel old - more like a parent than a young mother.

I've had some amazing personal growth in areas I struggle with - letting go, being considerate of others feelings instead of gratifying my inner deamons with sarcasm, and I have to credit a lot of this to my husband. This man understands my need to be childish at times, and allows me to let loose my inner teenager without judgement.

I've enjoyed my "time off" of writing, and am ready to start again. I'll probably start typing furiously on my laptop this weekend when the hubby leaves for some field training.

The house has been recovered from my sister-in-law's visit last week. She's pretty tidy, but I have a hard time cleaning with other people in the house. To me, it's my thinking time, and I always feel a little oddly restrained when we have family staying with us.

I am 35 w 2 d preggers. I am absolutely certain I've got no more space for this little baby inside of me, and I am eager for her arrival. On the same hand, I am nervous as well. We have a routine with being parents to one child - and I wonder how our only child will adjust to being an older brother.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Cleaning House to Offspring

Makes me smile. When the Hubby and I were dating, we listened to the Offspring a lot. On a sentimental note, I have to say that I love the fact that I still get that giddy/nervous feeling about the man!

I've had a pretty bad case of writer's block the last few days. I tried just hitting it hard and working through it, but that was even less productive than waiting for some random piece of motivation to come my way. So, I am intentionally not writing for a couple of days. I'm going to focus on housework, and introducing our little guy to his potty and pull ups.

My sister-in-law is coming to visit us next week, and I look forward to the distraction.

May the creativity flow soon! For now, Im going to continue busting at my mental log jam with sweats, cream soda, and music.

I have the urge to...

* Take some non-credit/online classes

* Go swing dancing

* Reupholster a very comfy piece of furniture

* Take a nap (these last 6 1/2 weeks of pregnancy are going to murder me in the sleep department)

* Get a massage

Boo to being penniless!