I think I'm still breathing. Maybe I'm hyperventillating.
I took a glance at collegeboard.org. To glance at what I need to do to take the SAT's. And now I feel my mind closing in on itself and my body choosing flight over fight.
I've never taken the SAT's. Or the PSAT. I've never done any kind of big test for college. This may surprise some people, but keep in mind, I got married when I was 16 years old. I finished high school, but my priorities shifted from going to college to moving out of my in-laws home. To paying the bills. To growing a family, and now raising that family.
I've done some amazing things with my life so far. My marriage alone is a huge testament to that. I've watched my husband walk away from our family in the name of duty and country countless times. I survived 13 months of praying he was safe and praying that he would come home. I gave birth to our first child without him. There are very few things in life that intimidate me anymore... and one of those things happens to be continuing my education. I wanted to, I want to say that I took college courses and have a degree. I want to show my kids that life doesn't stop with marriage or becoming a parent.
But I'm not that smartest kid on the block. I know NOTHING about any of this stuff. To make matters worse, I peeked in at a sample question. It was for math. I took remedial math classes the last 3 years I was in public high school. That was when my panic attack hit.
*Takes a deep breath* Ok. Time to use GOOGLE, and see if there's an "SAT'S FOR DUMMIES" at my nearest Barnes & Noble.