Or more acurately, trailer park.
It's my new theme for Sunday. Mostly because 1) I wanted a theme for one day a week and 2) I currently live in a trailer park (which happens to be one of my biggest frustrations).
My basic views - After apartment living with my college parents as a baby, we moved in a rambler (stick built) in Everett. My parents purchased property in Snohomish, and after spending years of chopping trees and clearing it, they bought a manufactured home to put on it while they *planned* on building a house. They had the plans done up by an architecht, and it would have been a beautiful house, but saddly, it was never built. In Everett, I never noticed a difference between people's houses. It was their home, and where ever they lived (house, apartment) didn't effect me. When we moved to Snohomish, the other kids made me painfully aware that I didn't have as nice a house as they did.
My view of an ideal home became a stick built 2 story house. I was ashamed of where I lived. When Mustache Man and I were first dating, the very first time I went over to his house I was immensely relieved to find that he lived in a rambler. Sure, it wasn't a manufactured, BUT it made me feel a little better. Later, when we got our first apartment, I was so proud. I loved our first place together. Through our time with the Marine Corps, we spent time in a condo, apartments, and finally a townhouse on base. Our townshouse was nice. It was basic, and there were things that I didn't like about it, such as the tile countertops, but it was a two story with a nice big garage. My idea of "nice".
Now that we are out of the military and moved back home, I find myself in another manufactured house - a trailer. My in-laws own this house, and we are renting it from them. It's a really good price for us that we honestly couldn't beat, but I loathe this whole situation. Even though I lived in a house like this before, it was brand new when my parents bought it (our rental is from the 80's) and at least my parent's house is on some property. Our rental barely has a backyard!
So. I find myself being in the exact place I swore to never be in, in a kind of house I absolutely cannot stand. Whelp.
Our plan of action right now is to work our butts off and pay off our debt so we can blow this Mexican Taco Stand. That's what is fueling my job search right now - I'll take any job I can get at this point just to move out of this house sooner. My only conslation is that I don't own it - but it doesn't really change anything either.
And so marks this Sunday, the beginning of "Theme Park".
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Holy Snowflakes
We have been in this house for nearly 3 weeks.
It feels like our new life is JUST now coming to some sort of normalcy.
The kids are back to their regular bedtime of 8 pm, mostly because late afternoon/evening has been the longest hardest parts of the day and I would lose my mind if they stayed up one minute longer. Luckily, they fall asleep easily and its not a power struggle (yet... knock on wood). The house is still coming together slowly. Maybe it's because we are renting this house from my in-laws and it isn't "our" home, maybe it's because we don't have any furniture yet, but there are still some boxes lining the walls and hanging out in the dining area waiting for my attention. We still don't have a couch, even! It's been rough and we our feet and backs and tired at the end of the day, but it does make us appreciate our very comfy bed all the more. We should be picking out our sofa next week, and I can't wait!
I love our new 4-legged kid, and so do the kids. Ayslyn is slowly getting used to her size and being less intimidated when she is crawling around the house, and Zach and Abbey run each other up and down the house (I appreciate the mutual exercise for the winter).
Mustache Man is enjoying being a civillian again. He works days, and it has been incredible to have him home so early in the afternoon again. I have been job hunting and applying like crazy! We made the decision to work as hard and long as possible for the next 6 months - 1 year to pay bills down and save for a down on our own house. After we reach a few goals, if I don't have a good job that I like, I'll probably continue my Homemaker gig, but for now, I'll take just about anything. It's nice to have goals and feel like we can actually work towards them again.
Happily for me, it snowed the other day, and has been so cold that it's still clinging to rooftops and trees. I love seeing it, it's my favorite time of year. If only we could get away to go snowboarding... there's always next year. Oddly, optimism seems to be my friend today and I think I may bundle my offpring up and go for a walk in spite of the freezing cold.
It's actually been very hard to feel positive lately. I've had an immense amount of dissatisfaction with nearly everything - the house we are in, our job situation, our lack of furniture, etc. One minute, I love the sun, the next I'm cursing it because it's melting my snow. I'd like to be more positive, but it's been a struggle for me since we moved and "started over". I feel like after 4 years in the military that we should be more "ahead" in life. It's such a bummer to realize we're not.
What do you do to stay positive?
It feels like our new life is JUST now coming to some sort of normalcy.
The kids are back to their regular bedtime of 8 pm, mostly because late afternoon/evening has been the longest hardest parts of the day and I would lose my mind if they stayed up one minute longer. Luckily, they fall asleep easily and its not a power struggle (yet... knock on wood). The house is still coming together slowly. Maybe it's because we are renting this house from my in-laws and it isn't "our" home, maybe it's because we don't have any furniture yet, but there are still some boxes lining the walls and hanging out in the dining area waiting for my attention. We still don't have a couch, even! It's been rough and we our feet and backs and tired at the end of the day, but it does make us appreciate our very comfy bed all the more. We should be picking out our sofa next week, and I can't wait!
I love our new 4-legged kid, and so do the kids. Ayslyn is slowly getting used to her size and being less intimidated when she is crawling around the house, and Zach and Abbey run each other up and down the house (I appreciate the mutual exercise for the winter).
Mustache Man is enjoying being a civillian again. He works days, and it has been incredible to have him home so early in the afternoon again. I have been job hunting and applying like crazy! We made the decision to work as hard and long as possible for the next 6 months - 1 year to pay bills down and save for a down on our own house. After we reach a few goals, if I don't have a good job that I like, I'll probably continue my Homemaker gig, but for now, I'll take just about anything. It's nice to have goals and feel like we can actually work towards them again.
Happily for me, it snowed the other day, and has been so cold that it's still clinging to rooftops and trees. I love seeing it, it's my favorite time of year. If only we could get away to go snowboarding... there's always next year. Oddly, optimism seems to be my friend today and I think I may bundle my offpring up and go for a walk in spite of the freezing cold.
It's actually been very hard to feel positive lately. I've had an immense amount of dissatisfaction with nearly everything - the house we are in, our job situation, our lack of furniture, etc. One minute, I love the sun, the next I'm cursing it because it's melting my snow. I'd like to be more positive, but it's been a struggle for me since we moved and "started over". I feel like after 4 years in the military that we should be more "ahead" in life. It's such a bummer to realize we're not.
What do you do to stay positive?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Finally!
I kind of think technology is a pain. So much time and attention goes into talking/texting, surfing the web, gaming, etc. I love getting away from it all and going camping. BUT I HAVE TO HAVE INTERNET!
Not necessarily while camping of course, that is usually only for a few days and then I come back to the "real" world again and catch up. Internet is seriously my addiction/weakness. I don't play many games, but I did get sucked into Facebook and blogging/reading blogs. It's my way of accessing the world and trying to stay current (and let's face it, somewhat interesting) while being a stay-at-home mom.
We just got our internet hooked up this morning. We have been in this house for almost 2 weeks. It was good to take a break from it, but I'm glad to be back!
SO. Anyways.
Our move ended up being crazy, the packing/cleaning/turning over the keys part. We started out strong, and had the entire trailer packed up the same day we got it (Thursday). Mustache Man and I had gone through most of our possessions, and got rid of a ton of stuff, but apparently not enough. We ended up shipping 13 boxes through UPS and made last minute cut throat decisions for the garbage pile.
The housing office had neglected to tell us that our garbage bins had to be empty and rinsed out when we left. I had barely finished getting the floors cleaned when the "Housing Guy" came by to inspect and sign us off. We still had a pile of stuff in the garage that was getting packed into a few last boxes and some full garbage bags. We managed to drag everything outside the garage and finish in the driveway, just so the house could be secured and us released from responsibility over it. Mustache Man had run out to ship some boxes (he could only take 4 at a time with the car, and the truck was already stuffed with our things to move and therefore useless), which left me panicking about the garbage bins. They were full. How that happened, I'm not entirely sure, but I'm going to chalk it up to moving. We tried renting a pickup from U-haul to make a dump run and take the remaining boxes to UPS, but we had only an hour and they wanted that much time to have a LOCAL U-haul location contact us. I called every Home Depot in the area (they rent pickup's, but in the Camp Pendleton area, each store only had one truck) and managed to track one down in time. Mustache Man had to pickup the truck (thus leaving the car at Home Depot) rush to load everything, and rushed to empty and drop the truck back off. After signing the house off, this left Mustache Man's mom, myself, and my two munchkins next to our truck, with everything that was going to be packed into the car on the side walk. Thank God we were in California or we would have froze.
Once we left Camp Pendleton, the drive went well. We made good time, the kids did GREAT, and we even stopped in Oregon at an Elk Viewing Area and the Sea Lion Caves near Florence.
Since arriving at our new residence, I've realized a couple of things.
- The tap water here is AMAZING. It was definitely something I took for granted before we moved away.
- The air even smells better! It feels clean.
- I really like "green". The trees are gorgeous.
Seriously though, while I hoped that life would suddenly be dream-like and happy, I didn't have any real expectations. Life is still life - it's still going to have up's and down's and hard times. The changes that have taken place over the last few weeks are many and significant. I'm very pleased to be back to a regular lifestyle. I can't get over the fact that almost everyday, I can expect my husband to work 8 hours and then come home. He doesn't have to do overtime, and if he chooses to, HE GETS PAID FOR IT. He doesn't have people calling him after he gets home from work all night because they are sick/drunk, got a ticket, or need some gear for their next field op. It's great. We don't have all the benefits we had before, but we do have Mustache Man with us more, and that's worth it!
Our new home feels smaller to us, but we're settling in alright. It's always cold but I refuse to turn the thermostat up any more. My in-laws are installing a garage door, and I am dying for it to be completed! Our home in California had a nice big garag that we had stuffed with tools, camping things, and our bikes. Now all that "garage stuff" is crammed in a tiny yard shed and the back room (enclosed porch) that I am currently typing in. Needless to say, it's an adjustment.
One of the perks of this house is that we have a small, fenced back yard! We got a family dog right away. I'm very much a dog person - I'd have a whole pack if I could! We named her Abbey, and adopted her from the Everett Animal Shelter. They said she was a stray and estimated her to be about 8 months old. She is perfect for our family and so tolerant of the kids. I caught Zach poking her eye and she just laid there and took it! (He certainly won't be doing that again, I couldn't believe it...) Ayslyn tries to pet her, but it ends up being more of a smacking than anything - luckily Ayslyn is 11 months old and it feels more like a "tapping". Abbey is going to be a great running partner, and we're working on basic commands with her.
So far, so good.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Contrary
Being contrary seems to be an almost unavoidable thing for me.
I said I probably wouldn't blog much over the next few days, but I am just bursting with optimisim this morning! Rare, and beautiful these days.
Last night, Mustache Man helped me pack up 3 big boxes. Mostly kitchen stuff. The house now looks absolutely bare, and I plan on starting some cleaning today.
One of Little Pixie's top/front teeth cut through the gums last night. It had been causing her quite a bit of discomfort over the last few weeks, and finally this morning there it was! Talk about being grateful for the little things - it came through just in time for the move!
Mustache Man has taken the car to work lately, as we're still waiting on our rear shocks to be delivered to the parts store. To add to some of my stress, he accidentally took the stroller with him in the trunk the last two days. Lately, I've been surviving on California sunshine and crisp ocean air (okay, who are we kidding, I could care less about the ocean air... I'm in it for the playground and how it zaps some of Z's energy!) Anyways, last night, that wonderful man I married took the stroller out and left it in the garage for me, without being asked. Ladies and Gents, this may not seem like a big deal, but the fact that my busy, gotta-get-everything-done Hubby remembered on his own... that's REAL love right there.
The in-laws are flying down tonight, and will be getting in late-ish. The munchkins will already be in bed, and I hopefully will have gotten some cleaning done. It's still hard to imagine that the day after tomorrow, I will be on my way home. Slowly, it's becoming more real, and I am starting to let myself believe that it's finally happening. And each day, and each time I think about it, the excitement seeps into bones, and I can't help but feel hope again.
I said I probably wouldn't blog much over the next few days, but I am just bursting with optimisim this morning! Rare, and beautiful these days.
Last night, Mustache Man helped me pack up 3 big boxes. Mostly kitchen stuff. The house now looks absolutely bare, and I plan on starting some cleaning today.
One of Little Pixie's top/front teeth cut through the gums last night. It had been causing her quite a bit of discomfort over the last few weeks, and finally this morning there it was! Talk about being grateful for the little things - it came through just in time for the move!
Mustache Man has taken the car to work lately, as we're still waiting on our rear shocks to be delivered to the parts store. To add to some of my stress, he accidentally took the stroller with him in the trunk the last two days. Lately, I've been surviving on California sunshine and crisp ocean air (okay, who are we kidding, I could care less about the ocean air... I'm in it for the playground and how it zaps some of Z's energy!) Anyways, last night, that wonderful man I married took the stroller out and left it in the garage for me, without being asked. Ladies and Gents, this may not seem like a big deal, but the fact that my busy, gotta-get-everything-done Hubby remembered on his own... that's REAL love right there.
The in-laws are flying down tonight, and will be getting in late-ish. The munchkins will already be in bed, and I hopefully will have gotten some cleaning done. It's still hard to imagine that the day after tomorrow, I will be on my way home. Slowly, it's becoming more real, and I am starting to let myself believe that it's finally happening. And each day, and each time I think about it, the excitement seeps into bones, and I can't help but feel hope again.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
My Friend Surrealism
Today is Tuesday. Tomorrow night my in-laws will be flying down to help me pack the trailer and clean the house. Thursday, Mustache Man will pick up the trailer. Friday, we will leave this life behind, taking with our household goods only lessons learned and memories.
It doesn't feel real yet. The packing is tangible enough, but it's as though I'm waiting for the big "F-U" from the Marine Corps. The big haha, jokes-on-you. I'm waiting to have everything packed up, everything loaded into the trailer, about to turn onto 1-5 North just for Mustache Man to get a phone call telling him that we can't actually leave yet.
It's an awful feeling.
I don't think any of it will feel like reality until we unpack that trailer and start settling into our new home. My mother in law has been a saint, and for the last week or two has been dilligently painting the house and having new carpet installed into the kids' bedrooms. It's going to be cold and rainy, I'm personally hoping it snows right after we get the trailer returned. We will be going back to a place where the road names are almost all English names and words, and where I track pine needles and dirt into the house and car.
I wonder if we'll have a hard time fitting into the house. It's not really smaller, just different. Different is good. We've been so numb to life for the last few years. The weather in California is almost always sunny and rarely cold. The road names in every city seem the same. I'm tired of feeling "happy" when I'm around more white people than Hispanic because I can understand everything everyone is saying. I'm tired of not having anywhere decent to go hiking or camping or fishing. Different will be very good.
Most of all, I wonder how long it will take me to get back to "normal". How long until I'm more happy and not angry or frustrated all the time? How long until I can fall asleep at night without a sleep aid? How long untl I don't have headaches anymore? How long until I don't feel like we're on vacation? We've been looking forward to this day for the last few years. We keep saying "once this is over, things will get better" but I'm starting to wonder if that's true. We've been surviving one day at a time, always dragging ourselves towards tomorrow and one day closer to the end. Now that the end is here, what's next?
Mustache Man and I have both applied to Washington State University's Online Degree Program. We are eager to start school, but there's that possibility that we may be rejected. That scares the heck out of me. WSU is the only college I've ever really, REALLY wanted to go to. What if they don't accept me? I'll be crushed. Mustache Man has a job waiting for him when we get home, and I'll start looking as soon as we are up there so I can interview ASAP. Other than these "hopes", our future is unknown.
I kind of like that.
I probably won't blog much over the next few days, but I'll be back with updates and pictures when we've unpacked the trailer.
See you on the other side.
It doesn't feel real yet. The packing is tangible enough, but it's as though I'm waiting for the big "F-U" from the Marine Corps. The big haha, jokes-on-you. I'm waiting to have everything packed up, everything loaded into the trailer, about to turn onto 1-5 North just for Mustache Man to get a phone call telling him that we can't actually leave yet.
It's an awful feeling.
I don't think any of it will feel like reality until we unpack that trailer and start settling into our new home. My mother in law has been a saint, and for the last week or two has been dilligently painting the house and having new carpet installed into the kids' bedrooms. It's going to be cold and rainy, I'm personally hoping it snows right after we get the trailer returned. We will be going back to a place where the road names are almost all English names and words, and where I track pine needles and dirt into the house and car.
I wonder if we'll have a hard time fitting into the house. It's not really smaller, just different. Different is good. We've been so numb to life for the last few years. The weather in California is almost always sunny and rarely cold. The road names in every city seem the same. I'm tired of feeling "happy" when I'm around more white people than Hispanic because I can understand everything everyone is saying. I'm tired of not having anywhere decent to go hiking or camping or fishing. Different will be very good.
Most of all, I wonder how long it will take me to get back to "normal". How long until I'm more happy and not angry or frustrated all the time? How long until I can fall asleep at night without a sleep aid? How long untl I don't have headaches anymore? How long until I don't feel like we're on vacation? We've been looking forward to this day for the last few years. We keep saying "once this is over, things will get better" but I'm starting to wonder if that's true. We've been surviving one day at a time, always dragging ourselves towards tomorrow and one day closer to the end. Now that the end is here, what's next?
Mustache Man and I have both applied to Washington State University's Online Degree Program. We are eager to start school, but there's that possibility that we may be rejected. That scares the heck out of me. WSU is the only college I've ever really, REALLY wanted to go to. What if they don't accept me? I'll be crushed. Mustache Man has a job waiting for him when we get home, and I'll start looking as soon as we are up there so I can interview ASAP. Other than these "hopes", our future is unknown.
I kind of like that.
I probably won't blog much over the next few days, but I'll be back with updates and pictures when we've unpacked the trailer.
See you on the other side.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Packer Who Didn't
Quote that rubbed me just the right way this morning:
"If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page." - Mark Houlahan
I love this. Being a book whore, and a writer in progress, I especially appreciated this quote instead of all the over-used typical dance-in-the-rain crap. I hate those! No more dancing in the rain while nobody is watching junk! A person can do almost anything if they know nobody else is watching them. You want to enjoy life? Have the nerve to dance in front of people! Just don't do it on a table, pole, or accept singles for it.
Tangent over. I hope.
I'm just procrastinating. Unfortunately, it's what I do... fortunately, I'm aware and working on it. Today is our first official single digit day! 9 days until the big day... the day we leave SoCal, leave the Marine Corps, and move back home. I thought I would take a minute to dive a little deeper into my thoughts about this whole thing. I'm certain that I have been very negative about the Marine Corps and California. It's not that petty, those are just the quickest ways to express my unhappiness.
Regarding the military:
Mustache Man and I were married for just over two years when we talked it over and decided he would enlist. I've wondered if it was perhaps harder for us because we had our married life together before the military came along. A lot of the other military wives I have come to know married into this lifestyle. My conclusion is that being a military family is hard no matter what. I don't think that our 13 month deployment was more difficult than a 6 or 9 month deployment. Gone is gone.
We had a few reasons for enlisting. We wanted Mustache Man to be able to pursue his education. We couldn't have afforded the student loans, and the GI Bill was a great solution for us. Mustache Man had a dream of being a fighter pilot, but that wasn't going to happen. When we started dating, he gave up the idea of being in the military because he didn't want to be away from me. We got married just 2 1/2 months after he turned 18. When he promised to love me forever, I personally resolved to make sure that he wouldn't miss out on opportunities or life experiences because he married me at such a young age. Mustache Man did 4 years of JROTC in high school, and while we knew he wouldn't be a fighter pilot, I didn't want him to wonder "what-if?" later down the road. The medical and dental benefits were also desirable.
The benefits have been great. Mustache Man is planning on starting college in the fall and his GI Bill will pay for everything. Because of the medical benefits, we have our 2 beautiful children for whom we haven't had to pay any hospital expenses. I've had my tubes ties free of charge - we no longer have to worry about paying for birth control or about a "surprise" baby down the road. We even appreciated moving away from Washington. While we missed "home" severely, we were able to completely leave our families and grow closer together and create our own family identity.
The costs - Mustache Man has been gone so much. While we've formed our own family identity, we've also fractured our family in a way. We knew to expect all the training (boot camp, combat training, then his MOS *read: job* training). We knew before we signed papers that he would go on a deployment. What we didn't expect was for him to be gone for a total of 4-5 months every year for weeks, and sometimes a month, at a time as a regular part of his job. We didn't expect for his normal working hours (when at home) to be from 6:30 am to whenever the guy in charge decided to let him come home (sometimes 8 or 9 pm). I certainly didn't expect the stupidity Mustache Man deals with on a daily basis. Every Thursday the Marines have to field day the barracks, and since the CAG came back from deployment (and especially since Mustache Man was relocated to his current battery), this includes married Marines who don't live at the barracks. One of the Thursday's this month found the entire battalion in the parking lot picking grass and weeds out of the cracks in the parking lot because some big wig was on a power trip. I am tired of my children not seeing/knowing their father. Every time we get into a routine, Mustache Man leaves again for 3 weeks, maybe a month, and we get thrown into a "single parent" scenario. When he gets home again, Ayslyn doesn't have that special bond with him anymore, and Zach has no idea why Dad was gone and is suddenly back again.
A lot of everyday people (read civilians) look at our life and say "but the military pays you for housing!" or "you have a guaranteed paycheck and free medical!". Those are true statements. But what do we have to give in order to receive those things?
I spent 13 months praying my husband would be safe and come home. I gave birth to our first child 6 months into the deployment. My husband came home to a 7 month old son. I've been so, so, so alone. My heart has been broken, knowing that my husband can't be reliable because he has to answer his phone at all times of the day and on weekends, and is expected to go into work at a moment's notice. Any say he has had over his life was signed over to the United States Marine Corps.
This last year has been a time of decision for us. For the first time in 4 years, we are choosing what we can do with our life. We did talk of re-enlisting in the beginning - but my bottom line wouldn't be matched by the Marine Corps. I handed Mustache Man the power over our lives. I told him that I respected him as the head of our household and the choice was his. I told him, honestly, that I hated this lifestyle and some days I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. BUT, if this was the way that he wanted to provide for our family, and if this was what he wanted to do with his life, I would support him in his decision and stand next to him in it.
He ultimately made the decision to "get out". I'm so grateful for my husband, his hard work, and all of his sacrifice. He is the greatest man I know.
So we're picking our family up and going home. We're going to make the life we've always wanted for ourselves. In 9 days, we get to stop waiting, push the play button, and move forward onto the next chapter. Finally.
It's a great thing to get back control over your life, your family, and your decisions. If I could do it over again, I don't know if I would choose to do the same thing. My only advice is this: never give away the power over your life.
"If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page." - Mark Houlahan
I love this. Being a book whore, and a writer in progress, I especially appreciated this quote instead of all the over-used typical dance-in-the-rain crap. I hate those! No more dancing in the rain while nobody is watching junk! A person can do almost anything if they know nobody else is watching them. You want to enjoy life? Have the nerve to dance in front of people! Just don't do it on a table, pole, or accept singles for it.
Tangent over. I hope.
I'm just procrastinating. Unfortunately, it's what I do... fortunately, I'm aware and working on it. Today is our first official single digit day! 9 days until the big day... the day we leave SoCal, leave the Marine Corps, and move back home. I thought I would take a minute to dive a little deeper into my thoughts about this whole thing. I'm certain that I have been very negative about the Marine Corps and California. It's not that petty, those are just the quickest ways to express my unhappiness.
Regarding the military:
Mustache Man and I were married for just over two years when we talked it over and decided he would enlist. I've wondered if it was perhaps harder for us because we had our married life together before the military came along. A lot of the other military wives I have come to know married into this lifestyle. My conclusion is that being a military family is hard no matter what. I don't think that our 13 month deployment was more difficult than a 6 or 9 month deployment. Gone is gone.
We had a few reasons for enlisting. We wanted Mustache Man to be able to pursue his education. We couldn't have afforded the student loans, and the GI Bill was a great solution for us. Mustache Man had a dream of being a fighter pilot, but that wasn't going to happen. When we started dating, he gave up the idea of being in the military because he didn't want to be away from me. We got married just 2 1/2 months after he turned 18. When he promised to love me forever, I personally resolved to make sure that he wouldn't miss out on opportunities or life experiences because he married me at such a young age. Mustache Man did 4 years of JROTC in high school, and while we knew he wouldn't be a fighter pilot, I didn't want him to wonder "what-if?" later down the road. The medical and dental benefits were also desirable.
The benefits have been great. Mustache Man is planning on starting college in the fall and his GI Bill will pay for everything. Because of the medical benefits, we have our 2 beautiful children for whom we haven't had to pay any hospital expenses. I've had my tubes ties free of charge - we no longer have to worry about paying for birth control or about a "surprise" baby down the road. We even appreciated moving away from Washington. While we missed "home" severely, we were able to completely leave our families and grow closer together and create our own family identity.
The costs - Mustache Man has been gone so much. While we've formed our own family identity, we've also fractured our family in a way. We knew to expect all the training (boot camp, combat training, then his MOS *read: job* training). We knew before we signed papers that he would go on a deployment. What we didn't expect was for him to be gone for a total of 4-5 months every year for weeks, and sometimes a month, at a time as a regular part of his job. We didn't expect for his normal working hours (when at home) to be from 6:30 am to whenever the guy in charge decided to let him come home (sometimes 8 or 9 pm). I certainly didn't expect the stupidity Mustache Man deals with on a daily basis. Every Thursday the Marines have to field day the barracks, and since the CAG came back from deployment (and especially since Mustache Man was relocated to his current battery), this includes married Marines who don't live at the barracks. One of the Thursday's this month found the entire battalion in the parking lot picking grass and weeds out of the cracks in the parking lot because some big wig was on a power trip. I am tired of my children not seeing/knowing their father. Every time we get into a routine, Mustache Man leaves again for 3 weeks, maybe a month, and we get thrown into a "single parent" scenario. When he gets home again, Ayslyn doesn't have that special bond with him anymore, and Zach has no idea why Dad was gone and is suddenly back again.
A lot of everyday people (read civilians) look at our life and say "but the military pays you for housing!" or "you have a guaranteed paycheck and free medical!". Those are true statements. But what do we have to give in order to receive those things?
I spent 13 months praying my husband would be safe and come home. I gave birth to our first child 6 months into the deployment. My husband came home to a 7 month old son. I've been so, so, so alone. My heart has been broken, knowing that my husband can't be reliable because he has to answer his phone at all times of the day and on weekends, and is expected to go into work at a moment's notice. Any say he has had over his life was signed over to the United States Marine Corps.
This last year has been a time of decision for us. For the first time in 4 years, we are choosing what we can do with our life. We did talk of re-enlisting in the beginning - but my bottom line wouldn't be matched by the Marine Corps. I handed Mustache Man the power over our lives. I told him that I respected him as the head of our household and the choice was his. I told him, honestly, that I hated this lifestyle and some days I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. BUT, if this was the way that he wanted to provide for our family, and if this was what he wanted to do with his life, I would support him in his decision and stand next to him in it.
He ultimately made the decision to "get out". I'm so grateful for my husband, his hard work, and all of his sacrifice. He is the greatest man I know.
So we're picking our family up and going home. We're going to make the life we've always wanted for ourselves. In 9 days, we get to stop waiting, push the play button, and move forward onto the next chapter. Finally.
It's a great thing to get back control over your life, your family, and your decisions. If I could do it over again, I don't know if I would choose to do the same thing. My only advice is this: never give away the power over your life.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The Girl Who Played Mechanic
Yesterday I had the pleasure of accompanying Mustache Man to the Auto Skills Center here on Camp Pendleton. Let me just say, I think this is one of the best resources Camp Pendleton has! If you work on your own vehicle, I highly recommend it. Because we were replacing the front shocks and the leaf springs on our truck, we used a lift, which cost us $5 an hour. Included in that fee was use of the Skills Center tools (wrenches, sockets, pneumatic stuff) which is extremely convenient if you don't have many tools (we do, but why take our own when we can use theirs?). We worked on the leaf springs first. We replaced them with slightly upgraded leaf springs which more or less gives our Ford F150 an F250 rating. Overall it betters our towing/hauling experience. It also lifted the truck about 2 inches which made Mustache Man very happy. It was definitely a project. The bolts were rusted in, and even after applying quite a bit of Power Blaster, it was still a battle getting the bolts loose. I used pneumatic tools for my first time ever, and enjoyed the experience. There were a couple other spouses at the Skills Center with their respective military member, but for the most part they sat in their vehicle looking bored out of their minds!
After installing the new leaf springs, we replaced the front shocks. We planned on replacing all 4 shocks, but the rear ones are still en route, so I may end up changing those out in our drive way this week. The first shock was quick and easy, and we were sure we were going to have our project wrapped up in no time. We started the passenger side shock and, much to my frustration, realized that the accessory pack hadn't been packaged with the shock. This meant we had no washers or bushings or nut to install the shock with. The washers and bushings on the old shock had been mangled and we couldn't reuse them, and the old nut was too small to fit on the new shock. I called 4 Wheel Parts to see what we could work out, and they told me to just come to the store and they'd get me what I needed - the catch was that they closed in 45 minutes.
I raced down there like a bat out of hell. Normally, I'm really good about not speeding or driving erratically, but I couldn't imagine what we would do if we couldn't drive the truck home or how we would pay for the solution. I had to take a different gate than I am used to exiting Camp Pendleton, and plugged the store's address into our GPS. Not only did I hit every single red light, but the signs at one crucial intersection weren't accurate and I got lost. I broke down, cried, called Mustache Man sobbing, called the guy at 4 Wheel Parts sobbing, and ended up making it in time. Then, I ended up working with not the guy I talked to on the phone, but some other idiot who was a complete jerk. He treated me like I knew nothing, and was extremely rude (his first comment to me was that it wasn't his first day on the job, and his last comment was that I should be careful with the open end of the box). I was pretty disappointed - Mustache Man always raves about how great the guys at 4 Wheel Parts are, and this was my first experience there alone. Mustache Man is contemplating calling or going in and finding the guy who "helped" me... and I'm not discouraging him!
All in all, we ended up getting the last shock installed and were able to leave right as the Skills Center was closing. Here are some pictures of our project for your viewing pleasure.
Our truck on the lift
New shock, old shock
New leaf spring, old leaf spring
Inner/under view of installed new leaf spring
Me working on the front passenger side shock
After installing the new leaf springs, we replaced the front shocks. We planned on replacing all 4 shocks, but the rear ones are still en route, so I may end up changing those out in our drive way this week. The first shock was quick and easy, and we were sure we were going to have our project wrapped up in no time. We started the passenger side shock and, much to my frustration, realized that the accessory pack hadn't been packaged with the shock. This meant we had no washers or bushings or nut to install the shock with. The washers and bushings on the old shock had been mangled and we couldn't reuse them, and the old nut was too small to fit on the new shock. I called 4 Wheel Parts to see what we could work out, and they told me to just come to the store and they'd get me what I needed - the catch was that they closed in 45 minutes.
I raced down there like a bat out of hell. Normally, I'm really good about not speeding or driving erratically, but I couldn't imagine what we would do if we couldn't drive the truck home or how we would pay for the solution. I had to take a different gate than I am used to exiting Camp Pendleton, and plugged the store's address into our GPS. Not only did I hit every single red light, but the signs at one crucial intersection weren't accurate and I got lost. I broke down, cried, called Mustache Man sobbing, called the guy at 4 Wheel Parts sobbing, and ended up making it in time. Then, I ended up working with not the guy I talked to on the phone, but some other idiot who was a complete jerk. He treated me like I knew nothing, and was extremely rude (his first comment to me was that it wasn't his first day on the job, and his last comment was that I should be careful with the open end of the box). I was pretty disappointed - Mustache Man always raves about how great the guys at 4 Wheel Parts are, and this was my first experience there alone. Mustache Man is contemplating calling or going in and finding the guy who "helped" me... and I'm not discouraging him!
All in all, we ended up getting the last shock installed and were able to leave right as the Skills Center was closing. Here are some pictures of our project for your viewing pleasure.
Our truck on the lift
New shock, old shock
New leaf spring, old leaf spring
Inner/under view of installed new leaf spring
Me working on the front passenger side shock
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